Sometimes Abuse is Difficult to Identify or Prevent

Most people would easily recognize blatant abusive behavior, and consciously, out of self preservation, easily and proudly steer clear of spending time with people who inflict it.

Sometimes abuse is difficult to identify.  Sometimes it is subtle, and can begin as a simple assertion of power, that later turns into unchecked overpowering gestures or insulting tones and words, threats of discomfort, or future discomfort become a manipulating force that can be abuse.

Sometimes even when an abuse is decisively identified as entirely hurtful and problematic, it is still difficult to prevent or get away from because we cannot control other people and what they do, and it may just not be practical to remove ourselves from people we love, are partnered with or want to be with, in order to remain safely away from those inflicting the abuse.

Sometimes those doing the abuse promise to change, and sincerely try to do better.  Sometimes inflictors do not care enough to learn what they are doing in order to prevent harm.

Tolerating any kind of abuse is a high price to pay for love, affection companionship, or the promise of a partnered life or cohesive family. Sadly, those of us who have endured abuse of any kind for long periods of time are the most susceptible to having it continue or repeat.

For those of us particularly susceptible to receiving it, learning how to identify imposed power, and how to gracefully reorient and rebalance the power, of self in relationship to other, when abuse shows up, is an ongoing challenge.  Graceful mastery of resetting these moments to a respectful balance of power is much more enjoyable than spirited escalating arguments and aggravated violent fights, or surrendered resignation and acquiescence

Healing from abuse requires stepping away from detrimental patterns of inflicted subordination that are not healthy nor sustainable.